Sassy Tales
by Blobby Problems
Summary: This isn't about HighSchoolMusical, but its the closest to it. Join Melissa and Miranda on a journey of love (well, somewhat) as they try to steal a man, who is ridiculous through a journey through humour, fighting and malicious trickery!
1. Chapter 1: The beginning

**Before you say anything, know that Melissa and Miranda are fighting over Daniel, though everything else WILL be explained. This isn't completely based on anything, and has no movie, book, cartoon, ect characters in there.**

 **Also, the reason it isn't written is because this is how I want it to be, like a movie sort of. I may edit it later, but for now, this is it.**

Melissa: Oh my god! Look over there at Daniel

Miranda sits down on the grass, with her best friend, Melissa. All she could think about is the cutest boy of all, Daniel who is sitting down with...

Miranda: Isn't he just… just so…

Melissa: Dreamy?

Miranda: Yes, yes, dreamy.

Melissa: Well, not really. If you look over to the left, stupid blonde Jasmine is staring into his eyes!

Miranda: Eew! Well, at least that's not as bad as Daniel kissing rotten cheese like last year.

Melissa: Or him going on a romantic holiday in Hawaii with me…

 _Melissa's fantasy world_

Melissa: We would stroll on the beach… sipping each other's martinis in bikinis. Wait… no. He wouldn't be in a bikini. But no, that would be cute. We'd swim with the unicorns, which he made by burping… oh… so dreamy…

 _Miranda shakes Melissa's shoulders_

Miranda: Hey! Melissa! You're not meant to be dreaming! Its s-c-h-o-o-l! I don't think it's the school for dreaming-about-boys-in-bikinis school.

Melissa: Oh… I said it out loud?

Miranda: Yes, and just saying that was absolutely disgusting. His belly would dribble out stomach hole thing

Melissa: You mean the skin part in the middle, top and bottom?

Miranda: Not exactly what I pictured it… but OK…

Melissa: What?! That's just a normal bikini description….

Miranda: Whatever you say… whatever you say…

 _Melissa rolls her eyes, and continues to gaze at Daniel_

Melissa: You know what?

Miranda: What?

Melissa: That we should Photoshop Jasmine. Like, put Donald Trump's head on her body. That would be amazing.

Miranda: And put a nude Nicki Minaj as her body!

Melissa: No, then it's just Donald Trump with Nicki Minaj's body.

Miranda: True…

Melissa: Though… that doesn't sound so bad…

Miranda: True….

Melissa: I was kidding! That wouldn't be so bad, it would be the most amazing thing of all time!

Miranda: True…

Melissa: And some anime eyes on his face would be amazing…

Miranda: True…

Melissa: FOR GODS SAKES JUST STOP SAYING TRUE!

Miranda: True…

Melissa: What would I ever do without you?

Miranda: True…

 _Hours pass. Melissa and Miranda talk some nonsense, talk about their dads in bikinis, and totally forget around the school around them. Daniel walks towards them with Jasmine in his hand._

Daniel: 'Ello ladies

Jasmine: Hee hee hee! Your SOOO funny!

Miranda: Hey Daniel

Melissa: Ditto

Jasmine: OMG! Who are you! You guys are just so funny! Stop it!

 _Jasmine smiles with her big smile, gigantic teeth and tiny, tiny lips_

Daniel: Swing by the nightclub tonight. Me having a rocking party tonight!

Melissa: I sure will!

Miranda: No, we can't. We have a homework group after school. Remember?

Melissa: Oh yeah... sorry we can't come.

 _Miranda winks at Daniel. Daniel launches his face back, startled_

Daniel: Alright then…

Jasmine: Hahaha! You guys are SO funny!

Miranda: SHUT THE FU-

 _Melissa puts her hand over Miranda's mouth and smiles at Daniel. Miranda licks Melissa's hand, making her hand all slobbery and wiping it all over Jasmine's legs._

Jasmine: Why did you do that?

Melissa: She did it because she is a moron

Miranda: A cute, smart and amazing moron

Daniel: I'll be going, let's go Jasmine

Jasmine: Hee! Have fun guys! I know you will find your happy place sometime!

 _Daniel and Jasmine leave the grass, holding each other's hands as they walk off into the lake area, where all the couples walk, dance and have picnics._

Miranda: Well, that was a disaster

Melissa: Definitely, but why wipe your spit hand over Jasmine?

Miranda: Because you wanted Daniel to be in a bikini

Melissa: Fine…


	2. Chapter 2: New boy

**Thank you for actually reading that monstrosity! (Or, you are a naughty person and skipped Chapter 1, or you killed your parents and read this to gain sanity, which it will just decrease it even more.) Enjoy!**

 _At school_

 _Miranda sits down on the grass and waits for Melissa. She gazes at Daniel, who is eating a cheese sandwich. The wheelchair he sits on, reminds her of the time she let go of the ladder and Daniel fell falling, becoming a paralysed hips downwards._

 _Melissa walks to Miranda and sits down next to her_

Melissa: Hey Miranda. You know what stinks?  
Miranda: What? You not getting Daniel in a bikini?

Melissa: No… though I wish it was that.

Miranda: Tell me woman!

Melissa: Daniel changed his relationship status

Miranda: Oh well, at least there is other guys like the new one

Melissa: WHAT new one?

Miranda: You know, the one who was walking down the corridor this morning?

Melissa: I was late…

Miranda: Oh yeah! I forgot, when you arrived to school with no pants on

Melissa: Enough about that! Now, tell be about this new boy

Miranda: Tall, dark and handsome, all your criteria. Though… Daniel doesn't seem to fit that… he is somewhat ugly, in the most romantic way… he has pale skin and is short and stubby… oh well!

Melissa: How dare you dis my future husband!

Miranda: I'm sorry! I want him as well… though compared to the other guy, there is no comparison. The new guy is a LOT hotter, so just wait until you see him

Melissa: Fine, but how much do I have to wait?

Miranda: Not long… it seems he is approaching us…

 _The new guy walks up to Melissa and Miranda. He goes down on one knee, kissing both Melissa and Miranda's hands. Both of them blush, as he stands up_

Zachary Zach: Hello ladies!

Melissa: Hello! This is my friend, called Dimwit. I, however am the magnificent Melissa. At your service!

Miranda: I believe she got the names wrong. She is called Dimwit and I am called Miranda!

Zachary Zach: Woah, ladies, please! My name is Zachary Zach, the reason I moved is because of my handsomeness. All the girls were chasing me so much I had to get a bodyguard. Not to worry, none of them were hurt.

Miranda: Well, that's a believable story!

Zachary Zach: You calling me ugly smart one?

Miranda: No! No! I wasn't being sarcastic! Sorry, I am just so flustered because you are just so beautiful!

Zachary Zach: I believe I am not a girl. Dumb one, let us go for a walk

Melissa: Sorry, could you sit here?

Zachary Zach: With you and the smart one?

Melissa: Yes, Zach. If you don't mind, of course.

Zachary: I would love to, only to get to know both of you, of course

Miranda: Good, so I didn't screw over

Zachary: I never said that, but, I will give you a do over

Miranda: Good, now want to date me now?

Melissa: And want to date me, not her? Right?

Zachary: Ladies, please. I do not want to leave my beautiful presence somewhere else!

Miranda: I KNEW IT! You even called yourself beautiful! Wait… so you're a girl?

Zachary: No, no, I just couldn't stop thinking about that incident. Now, smart one, date me Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and dumb one, date me Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

Miranda: What about Sundays?

Zachary: Oh, Sundays. We will have a double date! No, not with a boy, but with just the 3 of us!

Melissa: Not with a boy huh? Are you a girl?

Miranda: And also, sorry to interrupt question time, but what does that zip down your back do?

Zachary: For the last time, I'm NOT a girl, and that zip is a surgical thing. Just because the way I was born, so don't unzip it, it will leak blood everywhere.

Miranda: Not so sure…

 _Miranda and Melissa stand up, behind Zachary. They count to 3, so they know when to open the zip up. Something was suspicious about him, and they wanted to find out what_

Miranda: 1…

Melissa: 2…

Both girls: 3!

 _They unzip the zip, only to see another zip. Except, a whole bunch of skin came out, and the person inside was a girl!_

Miranda: So… unzip this zip?

Zach: No! Please don't!

 _The girls didn't hear in time. They zipped the zip open again, only to find the same Zach they first new_

Miranda: But… why did you have a girl costume again?

Zach: Because, the same reason for you to not unzip me in the first place! Don't unzip this zip, please!

Melissa: There IS a zip here?

Miranda: YES! Here, dimwit. I'm gonna unzip it now!

 _Miranda unzips it, and it's not the same result as last time. Instead of seeing another zip, she sees bones, lots of bones. She screams, launching back._


	3. Sorry!

Hello!

If you haven't realised, I have been sitting on my lazy arse all year. I havent dont ANYTHING besides play video games. Sorry 'bout dat.

Really, what I am trying to say is I am lacking the motivation to write this story. I will probably re-write it some time, but I cant continue.


End file.
